Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand in the Sun and Be Your Own Person

“Why would I have said no? […] Because it’s scary. I would have said no to sitting in the presidential box at the Kennedy Center with POTUS and FLOTUS because the prospect of saying yes was terrifying to me.”

As the book opens, Rhimes assesses why she is prone to turn down opportunities that she would have enjoyed. The realization that it is fear that is holding her back is an important one because it allows herself to take steps toward pushing herself out of her comfort zone in a way that improves her life for the better.

“My logic is wildly simple. It goes like this: Saying no has gotten me here. Here sucks. Saying yes might be my way to someplace better. If not a way to someplace better, at least to someplace different.

I didn’t have a choice. I didn’t want a choice. Once I saw the unhappiness, felt the unhappiness, recognized and named it…well, just knowing about it made me itchy. Like itchy on the inside of my brain. Continuing to say no was not going to get me anywhere.”

When Rhimes initially considers carrying out the Year of Yes, she is unsure whether it will lead to the result she is searching for: true happiness. But she is willing to try anyway, as she reasons that doing more of the same is not giving her the results that she wants. This quote reflects Rhimes’s early realization that The Challenge of Instituting Life Changes begins with acknowledging that her current way of living—marked by habitual avoidance—was no longer serving her happiness or growth.

“What am I afraid they will see if I am really myself? I know it’s not the graduates. It’s the rest of the world. It’s all the other people out there who will hear the speech and judge it and criticize it. And know things about me because of it. I don’t know if I want them to know me.”

Getting at the root of her fears is vital as Rhimes begins to make life changes. Her fear of public speaking, she realizes, is rooted in a type of lack of confidence by which she does not want to appear vulnerable in front of others lest they learn that she is flawed and imperfect. She expresses a fear of being known and dislikes for who she is.